Lots of people engage in fantasy sports leagues, but sports isn’t my thing. I love movies though, and I sometimes fantasize about doing remakes of movies using a different cast.

I’ve always had this fantasy about doing a Gilligan’s Island movie and my recent blog post about Vince Gilligan’s island didn’t just remind me of my fantasy. My fantasy Gilligan’s Island movie reminded me of something Vince Gilligan might write.

There’s nothing particularly inventive about my plot idea – it’s downright derivative. I guess that’s not something Vince Gilligan would aspire to, but I would blatantly rip off the Usual Suspects plotline and play on that. The whole movie idea is spoof-ish anyway, with lots of sight gags and homages to the original TV show, so ripping off a plotline is a minor sin. I think the Wayans brothers have lowered the bar on that so far that you don’t even trip over it anymore.

No, the creativity in my version is all about casting, and the idea would sink or swim on being able to assemble the ensemble cast that would have the right chemistry to make it work.

The core cast would be Adam Sandler as Gilligan and Will Ferrel as The Skipper. If you can’t close your eyes and picture those two doing the “Little Buddy” and “SkipppperrrRRR!” routine, then stop reading now and go read something else.

I sure can. I can picture Will Ferrel wringing the skippers hat between his hands, fretting, resisting the urge to hit his shipmate, saying “doggone it” and the whole nine yards. And I can definitely picture Adam Sandler being chased by hungry cannibals while yelling “Skippperrrr!”.

They both have the physiques for their respective roles, hair color and style – straight black hair for Gilligan and curlier lighter hair for Will. They might be a bit older than ideal for the roles now, but they could probably still manage.

If I couldn’t get those two to play the main roles, I don’t think I would even think of going further. I’m pretty attached to most of my other casting choices as well, but the first two are definite showstoppers.

And who should play the Professor? We need someone intelligent, forthright, brutally honest, assertive.

Samuel L. <frickin> Jackson.

I’m not going for the G rated Gilligan’s Island here obviously.

Yes.. Samuel L. Jackson would make a fine Professor.

So my whole “Usual Castaways” plotline revolves around the Howells interrogating Gilligan about a failed rescue attempt that results in a burning rescue ship and most of the other castaways ending up dead or drowned. I’m not going for the bright and cheery version of Gilligan’s Island here either. Like I said – this is more like Vince Gilligan’s island.

So who should play the Howells? I like Sandra Bernhardt and Eddy Izzard. I actually asked Sandra Bernhardt on Twitter if she thought she could get into playing Mrs. Howell, and she loved the idea.

For Mary-Anne, I like Halle Berry. For Ginger – Anne Hathaway. To be honest, these two characters wouldn’t play much of a central role in my plotline and for cost reasons you could probably talk me into actresses with a lower price tag.

So that’s it. My fantasy cast for a Gilligan’s Island remake, along with essentially the elevator pitch of the plotline.

Anyone want to lend me.. oh.. $20 million to get started on it?

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